And as for heart disease, they cannot even begin to consider any tests valid (since “right and wrong” are non-issues) until their animal subjects are eating 5 hamburgers a week, as does the average American.

While legislators in Washington D.C. are pondering the CHIMP Act (Chimpanzee Health Improvement Maintenance and Protection Act), which would set up retirement homes for chimpanzees who’ve involuntarily given their lives to science, it is important for us to take a deeper look into this issue.

Socially unfit and commonly carrying Hepatitis and HIV viruses due to various experiments, it is unrealistic for lab chimps to return to what would have been their natural habitat. Most of these chimps are second and third generation descendants of the U.S. space program any way. Their origins are for the most part, completely unknown to them.

Because of this, sanctuaries such as ChimpHaven in Louisiana are being constructed to care for these primates. The proposed CHIMP Act would bring federal funding to their aid- not just the current private funding. Until now, the only funds provided by the federal government have been to support needless and cruel animal testing- not refuge.

The government says they don’t want to euthanize the primates because they are related to humans (those lucky chimps- related to us), and the government is also grateful for their service.

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